Rules for Writers

or: Do as I say, not as I do

(All the following rules are good rules but they are also supposed to be funny. can you see why?)

• Shun and avoid the employment of unnecessary, extraneous, excess extra words.
• Make certain all sentences are full and complete. If possible.
• At all costs, avoid clichés as you would the plague.
• Take pain’s to spell and, pucntuate correctly".
• BE Consistent.
• Be careful with verbs, don’t be catched out by irregularities.
• Check that the subject do agree with the verb.
• Don’t approximate. Always be more or less precise.
• Sedulously eschew obfuscatory hyperverbosity.
• Avoid pointless repetition, don’t repeat yourself unnecessarily.
• Observe, in all written expressions, it is, of the foremost importance --- if not, certainly not more or less than --– at least definitely secondary then, the importance, of whenever possibly trying, so that when, except where it cannot be avoided and/or in further necessary development it becomes imperative to omit, yet, remember without fail (for this must not be underestimated) to be brief and clear. This is vital.
• Always try to remember the ekstreme extreem extreme importance of being accurat nea t and carrful.

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